I’ll never forget the night of and day after the news, roughly two hours of sleep, taking 12 hours to barely finish what seemed like the grueling task of eating, one half cup of steel cut oatmeal and 9 or 10 blueberries. Spent the first 48 hours drowning in tears I wasn't familiar with that were birthed from the pit of my stomach, the deepest part of my heart (eerily similar to Angie's cry in that episode of "Power" when Ghost ended their relationship- ouch), questioning everything about myself and everyone around me, what did I miss AGAIN (shame on me) and why was I so devastatingly surprised that things ended the way that they did? Jasmaine asked me for the permission to speak freely, permission granted of course, as she told me that all along, I already knew. And she was right.